Better Fang
by Sierra156
Summary: A rather silly oneshot where Fang is cloned by Iggy, based off the video Better Tim by Dominic Fear. Come on. you know you wanna click it. Go ahead. DO IT. Rated T for language. Not Figgy.


**Hey… I'm just bored… So here's a random oneshot. I took the video Better Tim by DominicFear on YouTube and adapted it to the Flock, because it's effing hilarious… So.**

**I don't own Maximum Ride or that freaking awesome video. You should go watch it...**

Better Fang

"Hey Fang," said Iggy, randomly walking in.

Fang didn't look up from his book, but kept reading and said, "Hi…"

Iggy sat down next to him. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Reading."

"Whatcha readin'?"

"A book."

"Wanna try that answer again but scrape off the layer of attitude?"

"A good book."

"Oh, you _are_ a feisty little meister, aren't you?"

Fang kept reading, still emotionless as always. "Look, what do you want, man?"

Iggy shrugged. "Nothin'. Just wanna… hang out."

Fang looked up then, suspicious. "You have your devious face on."

Iggy's head was lowered so that you could barely see his eyes, and he had an evil grin on. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said in a strange voice, talking made difficult by his head's position. **(I'm not good at describing this! Just Google 'Dom Fera's devious face' or watch the video!)**

"You've done something _devious_, haven't you?" asked Fang, nodding slightly as he spoke.

"Nuh-uh!" Iggy cried. "See, what's happening right here is that you're a freaking _liar._"

"No, look, you hacked my blog and said 'Iggy here! I just did something devious involving Fang.' You even added a winky face."

"No. That's not me," he denied.

"Look, Ig, what did you _do_?" fumed Fang, frustrated now.

"I killed your dog!" said Iggy, shrugging happily.

"What? I don't _have_ a dog!"

Iggy punched his shoulder and smiled. "I'm just kidding, f*cker, I cloned ya!" He stood up and walked over to the doorframe, and in walked… Fang?

"What the (insert swear word of your choice here)?" yelped the real Fang.

"Say hello to Better Fang," said Iggy, gesturing to the clone.

"Better?" questioned Fang, now fully confused.

"Yeah, better," confirmed Iggy.

"In pretty much every way," added the clone.

"Say bacon," the blind boy instructed. **(I just have something against Fang saying 'boner'...)**

"Bacon," said Fang's clone casually. Iggy cracked up.

"That sounds exactly like me, though," said Fang, still puzzled. "Bacon."

The two went silent. "Nah, not quite," said the clone, shaking his head. "Yeah, you didn't have the same gusto," agreed Ig.

"Bacon!" yelled the clone. Iggy doubled over in laughter.

"How the _hell_ did you clone me?" asked Fang exasperatedly.

"The cloning machine," said Iggy, like it was the most normal thing in the world. Then again, they_ are_ mutants…

"What cloning machine?"

"We stole it from Itex."

"No we didn't!"

"Nah, man, we totally did. You know, in the future."

"HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET TO THE FUTURE?"

"The time machine!"

"Where the fuck did you get a time machine?"

"Better Fang made it!"

"HOW?"

"Well, he's better," explained Iggy.

"In pretty much every way," added Better Fang. AGAIN. "Hey, knock knock!"

"Who's there?" Iggy asked, grinning.

"BACON!"

"Oh my God, I love this guy!" Iggy said, laughing hysterically. "What- what was that? Where did that come from for you?"

Fang just shook his head slowly. "I- I'm dreaming, aren't I?"

Iggy scratched his head, looking down. "Yeah."

"I shoulda figured," Fang muttered.

"JUST KIDDING, MOTHERFUCKER, THIS SHIT'S AS REAL AS IT GETS!" shrieked Iggy suddenly, making Fang jump. The clone nodded, grinning. "See, Better Fang wouldn't have fallen for that. He's better."

"In pretty much every way," added the clone for the _third freaking time._

"Totally. Plum me," commanded Iggy, holding his hand up to Better Fang's mouth. A freaking _plum_ rolled out of the clone's mouth and into Iggy's hand, and he took a bite, looking straight at Fang all the while.

"That's _disgusting_," Fang said, looking… well… disgusted.

"He makes oatmeal, too!" Better Fang turned around, and Iggy kneeled, facing his back.

"STOP!" shouted Fang. Iggy and Better Fang looked up, surprised. "Look, I think I'm going insane here, and all my bacon's gone, and Mr Quiggles the jetpack unicorn is after my head, and…" his voice trailed off as he picked up his book and walked out of the room, muttering to himself.

"Excellent work, Gazzy," said Iggy evilly.

What was supposedly Fang's clone ripped off the mask and grinned. "He fell for it!" crowed The Gasman.

**Sorry.**

**-Sierra**

Return to Top


End file.
